39 Reasons Why Men Are Happier Than Women

  1. >You can get a wife fairly cheaply.
  2. >Your last name stays put.
  3. >The garage is all yours.
  4. >Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  5. >Chocolate is just another snack.
  6. >You can be president.
  7. >You can never be pregnant.
  8. >You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  9. >Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  10. >The world is your urinal.
  11. >You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  12. >You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  13. >Same work, more pay.
  14. >Wrinkles add character.
  15. >Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental – $100.
  16. >People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
  17. >The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  18. >New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  19. >One mood – all the time.
  20. >Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  21. >You know stuff about tanks.
  22. >A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  23. >You can open all your own jars.
  24. >You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  25. >If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  26. >Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.
  27. >Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  28. >You almost never have strap problems in public.
  29. >You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  30. >Everything on your face stays its original color.
  31. >The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  32. >You only have to shave your face and neck.
  33. >You can play with toys all your life.
  34. >Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  35. >One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
  36. >You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  37. >You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
  38. >You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  39. >You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

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